How I see it is humans have some fixed/average capacity for connection in a day (where the rest of the time is spent doing other things like work, eating, working out, etc..).
We can fill that connection time with virtual connection (watching a TikTok, going on Twitter, sending a text, group chats, etc..) or we can fill it with in-person connection. The virtual connection is tempting because it tastes like connection but it’s not the real thing (like fake sugar). Decades ago our parents and grandparents only ever tasted the real thing, and some of them still have the privilege of only knowing what the real thing tastes like. I sense we’re slowly waking up to the reality that we’ve been eating the fake thing because we’ve had about a good 5-10 years of it.
One of my biggest struggles after Stanford has been how do you consistently find a group of nerds. I miss the feeling of having a constant supply of nerds and curious people to interact with. I think NYC can support this but it feels like an uphill battle.
Oh man! I relate to this so much. Loneliness is so taboo, I hate admitting how much it affects me. And it's so true that currently it feels like the emergency of it is being labeled as "The Male Loneliness Epidemic" while women, as always, are thought of just fine with our cats. We're hurting too! Thanks for writing about your experience. Love your stuff.
I completely relate to the pressure to entertain. I honestly think it’s a control thing.
You mentioned “trust” toward the end. Maybe we need to slow down and trust the moment? Or trust ourselves enough to keep going in this hustle culture, so that we can actually “lime” with ourselves? Maybe it has to start there. Or maybe it’s the Eastern Philosophy I’ve been binging talking haha
Western culture (well, capitalism) has succeeded in seperating humans from each other to such a degree that loneliness is becoming a major issue.
What the Eastern philosophy can help with is by teaching people to appreciate their time alone. Personally, I crave alone time and could probably go much longer than most people completely on my own away from society since I became comfortable with being alone.
How I see it is humans have some fixed/average capacity for connection in a day (where the rest of the time is spent doing other things like work, eating, working out, etc..).
We can fill that connection time with virtual connection (watching a TikTok, going on Twitter, sending a text, group chats, etc..) or we can fill it with in-person connection. The virtual connection is tempting because it tastes like connection but it’s not the real thing (like fake sugar). Decades ago our parents and grandparents only ever tasted the real thing, and some of them still have the privilege of only knowing what the real thing tastes like. I sense we’re slowly waking up to the reality that we’ve been eating the fake thing because we’ve had about a good 5-10 years of it.
One of my biggest struggles after Stanford has been how do you consistently find a group of nerds. I miss the feeling of having a constant supply of nerds and curious people to interact with. I think NYC can support this but it feels like an uphill battle.
I agree- I’ve missed being around people to nerd out with. I like the fake sugar analogy & appreciate your comment :)
This will be your second post I'll be reading but damn you make some of the relatable content out there.
thank you for reading :)
Oh man! I relate to this so much. Loneliness is so taboo, I hate admitting how much it affects me. And it's so true that currently it feels like the emergency of it is being labeled as "The Male Loneliness Epidemic" while women, as always, are thought of just fine with our cats. We're hurting too! Thanks for writing about your experience. Love your stuff.
I relate to this a lot. Not being anyone's priority sucks.
Thank you for reading.
It's true, it does suck. But if you're fortunate enough to have that be one of the biggest things that suck in your life, you're doing pretty good!
I've never heard of Liming - I use 'whelm' for the same reason.
(I also use it for thousands of other uses but we can leave that for later)
whelm comes from the balance between over- and underwhelmed.
So after a long, busy, overwhelming day, I get stupid excited to just 'whelm' at home and tip the scale a bit to create balance <3
Aw I love this. Adding it to my vernacular
You're whelmcome <3
I completely relate to the pressure to entertain. I honestly think it’s a control thing.
You mentioned “trust” toward the end. Maybe we need to slow down and trust the moment? Or trust ourselves enough to keep going in this hustle culture, so that we can actually “lime” with ourselves? Maybe it has to start there. Or maybe it’s the Eastern Philosophy I’ve been binging talking haha
Absolutely agree with you~
Western culture (well, capitalism) has succeeded in seperating humans from each other to such a degree that loneliness is becoming a major issue.
What the Eastern philosophy can help with is by teaching people to appreciate their time alone. Personally, I crave alone time and could probably go much longer than most people completely on my own away from society since I became comfortable with being alone.
Thank you for such an honest comment. Maybe it is about trusting the moment. And maybe I need to read more eastern philosophy. :)
Loved this!